Seeking the Great Wrong Answer
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The number one question I'm asked goes like this: "I've read such-and-such book (listened to so-and-so's CDs), and it all sounds good, but I don't know where to go from here. I need a step-by-step guide so I can put these ideas into practice. I need simple, actionable instructions." BZZZZZZTTT! Wrong start, wrong direction, wrong assumptions.
This question, as soon as it's asked, is misleading us, and if you've asked it (I certainly have, many times), then you're being dragged down the wrong path.
If you've read more than four or five self-help books, or been studying self-development for more than a year, you already have virtually all the knowledge you'll ever need to change your life.
For example, you've probably read Think and Grow Rich, the self-help classic by Napoleon Hill. But I'll bet you're not rich. Millions and millions of people have read that book. And many fortunes have been made because of it. Lives have been forever changed thanks to that book.
But statistically, the vast majority of the people who've read Think and Grow Rich do NOT grow rich. In fact, if we judge this book purely by percentages, it's an abject failure. Example: if your child's third-grade teacher had the same success record, he'd be fired in a flash. And if you produced results like that in your job, you'd be long gone.
But it's not just Think and Grow Rich. All the success books and gurus run about the same (no matter what they claim).
Example: among all the thousands of people who've attended programs by Tony Robbins or Jim Rhone, or any of the other great teachers, most of those attendees are no richer today than they were before going.
A tiny number of attendees / readers / listeners change; most do not.
Does this mean those teachers are charlatans? Swindlers? Incompetents?
No, but it does mean something else.
It means specifically this: The way most of us play this "self-improvement" game, it's flat out impossible to change anything.
Now, I hope you're starting to get uncomfortable with this line of thought. AND I hope you're starting to get at least a little bit indignant. Maybe more than a little.
But am I wrong?
Isn't it true that most so-called "success systems" change pitifully few lives?
I think you'll admit that it IS true. And it may even be true in your own case.
If it is, then listen up because the next little bit is going to be like a breath of fresh air for you. (It may also scare you.)
The reason we don't get the results that are promised is exactly this: we're taking perfectly good advice, then unconsciously misapplying it.
Since we're not yet real success-oriented thinkers, the assumptions and decisions we make are colored by our failure thinking.
And the number one biggest wrong turn is this: "I can't. I don't know how. I don't understand yet. I need something more before I can do it."
Now be honest with yourself. After you read an inspiring book, or attend an energizing program, you go home feeling wonderful, but then gradually drift into those "I can't" thoughts.... don't you?
We all do this. We automatically assume "I can't; I don't know how; I've never done this before, so it's not possible for me." And then we come up with a brilliant insight: "I need somebody to show me how, step-by-step." But then we end it there.
Have you ever wondered why successful people almost always say the beginning of their success was when they started working with a hands-on coach or a mentor?
It's because working with a real success is a natural bridge across that "I can't" feeling which is so universal.
But most people will never just go and get a mentor. They won't even seek out successful people to mastermind with.
Or they'll hire a dynamite coach and then reject the advice they receive.
I've had so many people request advice -- "I'll do whatever you suggest. I really, really, really want to succeed."
But then, in the face of having to actually do something that'll stretch them and build new abilities, they'll come back with all the reasons my suggestion is all wrong for them, or they "just aren't that type of person." Or "my case is different."
You know what? These are the some old excuses. They've been retreaded and remounted, but they're running the same old road.
Let me state this again. If you've read more than four or five self-help books, or been studying self-development for more than a year, you already have virtually all the knowledge you'll ever need to change your life.
Anything over that -- without results -- is kidding yourself, it's self-help masturbation. It's a total waste of your time, energy and life.
So before you read another self-help book (and this includes my own), go over to your bookshelf and pull down one that you already own. Re-read it and do what it says.
No more excuses. No more weaseling. No more "I can't" or "there's not enough information here." Just start. And don't stop this time.
Persistence (not stubborn rigidity) is more powerful than any other trait you can ever develop. So develop it beginning today. (And as I just said, don't stop this time.)
Because here's what'll happen. Once you're in motion and intent (really intent) on actually moving forward, the steps you should take will become quite obvious to you. You'll no longer need to try and remember techniques. Instead you'll make up your own techniques to fit the changing situation, as you go along.
Really living life with an "I can" feeling is not a drill. It's an experience that unfolds in real time, sort of like surfing or skating. You'll find that it's already within you, and bursting to get out into the world around you.
So the next time you find yourself thinking "I can't" or "I need a step-by-step guide before I can do this," just stop it.
That's not your real need here. What you're doing is making an excuse for not starting. You're being misled by your old failure thinking into seeking the Great Wrong Answer.
From now on, every time that feeling of "I don't have enough information yet" comes welling up inside you, stop and deliberately replace it with the awareness that you DO have enough... somewhere inside you.
Don't resist the old feeling. Let it come. Then build a new thought on top of the old. With practice, this will become automatic, and anytime the old thought appears, it'll immediately trigger the new, enabling thought that "Yes, I can -- of course I can."
And of course you CAN.
Then go find a mentor or coach to model. Not because they will teach you the steps, which they will, but because it's from them that you will most quickly and efficiently absorb the "I Can" mindset.
With the wrong mindset, even the right steps will go off in wrong directions.
In contrast, the right mindset will lead you where you intend to go, even if you do all sorts of things "incorrectly" along the way.
Try this for the next 60 days and see if you don't get radically different results.
Then write and tell me about it. I love success stories.
Cheers from sunny Japan, Charles
Charles Burke is the author of Command More Luck, a book offering powerful suggestions for getting more cooperation from life, luck, and your own mind, especially in uncertain times. Whether you call it synchronicity, serendipity, or just plain old luck, you CAN become more "naturally lucky."
Learn why "luck" doesn't work the way you've always been told. Not even close.
The bad news -- There's no such thing as luck.
The good news -- There's something even better.
Learn how you can take command of what people call luck.
Start becoming "lucky" today.
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